Monday, September 21, 2015

Hope through depression

Over the past year I have known what deep depression is. Where you would rather be dead then have to live another day like this. Where you feel there is no hope for anything ever getting better. You think no one will ever understand what you are going through or how you feel. I realized I didn't need or want sympathy, I didn't need or want to be told what to do or how to get out of the pit. What I wanted and truly needed was a listening ear. But I didn't feel like I had a person that would really meet this need the way I needed it to be met. I became so depressed my husband told me I needed to seek help. Which at the time deeply hurt my heart. Like deeply. How could he say that to me?! I see now he felt totally lost. All he could see was his wife was having a major struggle every day. He didn't know how to help. He didn't know what to make of it. Our family was hurting because of this depression.

I was releasing every emotion, every feeling out onto my kids and husband. I was damaging these precious relationships every single day. My words were unkind; my actions were too. I myself didn't know what to do. How to fix this. No, that's not totally true. I knew I needed to read my Bible, pray, and sing, but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. My sorrows were too great. The hopelessness too big.

Summer came, and with it, a lighter yoke. A new day. A new season. A fresh perspective. A revelation that I have a say in this. I have a say in my daily life. I realized that I cannot make people keep their word or do things I think they should do. I can't make everything go my way. I cannot keep the hurts and dissapointments from my heart no matter how big of a wall I build. I do, however, have a choice in how I respond these hurts and dissapointments. These hurts and disappointments are some of the things that I had been dwelling on that led me to this depression and anger. I hadn't dealt with anything. I hadn't made a choice to learn and grow. That is until recently.

Since the revelation that I do have a say in what goes on in my life and my mind, I have been making a conscious effort to keep calm, to not continually think on things that make my heart hurt or angry, and to forgive then let things go. I have been doing much better at removing myself from situations that make me angry and not returning until I have dealt with my heart and am calm. Honestly, that process can take awhile, but it does happen. Not every time, but most.

There is no way on this planet that could overcome this depression and anger without help from my Heavenly Father. I can do all things through Him (Philippians 4:13). I am an overcomer (1 John 5:4). I may be beaten down, but never destroyed (2 Corinthians 4:8-9).

If you happen to be depressed or know someone who is struggling with it, please know there is hope in the midst of it. Even when there seems to be only darkness, there is hope.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Love's Fortune--Book Review

Love's Fortune
The Ballantyne Legacy #3
Laura Frantz

About the book:

Love's Fortune, Ballantyne Legacy Series #3Sheltered since birth at her Kentucky home, Rowena Ballantyne has heard only whispered rumors of her grandfather Silas's vast fortune and grand manor in Pennsylvania. When her father receives a rare letter summoning him to New Hope, Rowena makes the journey with him and quickly finds herself in a whole new world--filled with family members she's never met, dances she's never learned, and a new side to the father she thought she knew. As she struggles to fit in during their extended stay, she finds a friend in James Sackett, the most valued steamship pilot of the Ballantynes' shipping line. Even with his help, Rowena feels she may never be comfortable in high society. Will she go her own way . . . to her peril?

With her signature attention to historical detail, Laura Frantz brings 1850s Pennsylvania alive with a tender story of loss, love, and loyalty. Fans will cheer for this final installment of the Ballatyne saga.

My Review:

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Book Review: Full Steam Ahead by Karen Witemeyer

Full Steam Ahead
by Karen Witemeyer

About the Book:

Full Steam Ahead  -     By: Karen Witemeyer
When love simmers between a reclusive scientist and a wealthy debutante, will they abandon ship or is it full steam ahead?

Nicole Renard returns home to Galveston, Texas, to find her father deathly ill. Though she loves him, Nicole's father has always focused on what she's not. Not male. Not married. Not able to run Renard Shipping.

Vowing to find a suitable husband to give her father the heir he desires before it's too late, Nicole sets out with the Renard family's greatest treasure as her dowry: the highly coveted Lafitte Dagger. But her father's rivals come after the dagger, forcing a change in Nicole's plans.

After a boiler explosion aboard the Louisiana nearly took his life, Darius Thornton has been a man obsessed. He will do anything to stop even one more steamship disaster. Even if it means letting a female secretary into his secluded world.

Nicole is determined not to let her odd employer scare her off with his explosive experiments, yet when respect and mutual attraction grow between them, a new fear arises. How can she acquire an heir for her father when her heart belongs to another? And when her father's rivals discover her hiding place, will she have to choose between that love and her family's legacy?

My Review:

Friday, January 31, 2014

Prayer Warrior--book review

Prayer Warrior: The Power of Praying Your Way to   Victory  -     By: Stormie Omartian
Prayer Warrior

by Stormie Omartian

About the Book:

No one can sit on the sidelines today when it comes to spiritual matters. A war is going on between good and evil, and every believer is involved. For every Christian who wants a meaningful prayer life that is more than just asking for blessings, bestselling author Stormie Omartian shows how to pray with strength and purpose--prayers resulting in great victory, not only personally but also in advancing God's kingdom and glory.

Readers will find help and encouragement in 12 practical and significant chapters that address
  • knowing your Commander and standing on His side
  • being certain of your authority in prayer
  • becoming skilled with your spiritual weapons
  • following God's orders to resist the enemy
  • seeing what's happening from God's perspective
Stormie also provides many powerful prayers on numerous subjects that concern people today. For anyone eager to answer the call of God on his or her life to pray while responding to the desire of his or her heart to see people and situations change, Prayer Warrior is a must-read.

About the Study Guide:

Prayer Warrior Prayer and Study Guide: The Power of   Praying Your Way to Victory                      -     By: Stormie Omartian
A companion to Stormie Omartian's brand-new book, Prayer Warrior, this study guide helps readers to further explore God's Word and His promises. This more in-depth journey looks at many aspects of every believer's call to pray and how those prayers can be full of strength and purpose, and result in great victory. Readers will be offered prayer tools as they
  • put on their protective armor each morning
  • condition themselves to be all that they can be
  • pray the prayers every prayer warrior must know
Created for individuals or small groups, Prayer Warrior Study Guide provides thoughtful questions, helpful discussion insights, and other creative ways to go deeper with this important content.

My Review:

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

My Husband Project-giving him the boost he craves

My husband and I don't get a lot of time to talk with each other, more less go out on a date. He works the grave-yard shift and I'm busy teaching our children, running them back and forth to classes, sports practices, cooking, cleaning, etc. Needles to say we get about an hour of family time each day. So at the beginning of January I decided to "tell" him all the things I want him to know that I'm unable to share with him verbally. Here is what I've been doing.

Sunday, December 29, 2013

A Match Made in Texas--book review

A Match Made in Texas
by Karen Witemeyer, Mary Connealy, 
Regina Jennings, and Carol Cox

About the Book:

A Match Made in Texas    -     By: K. Witemeyer, M. Connealy, R. Jennings, C. Cox
There's a secret matchmaker at work in frontier Texas!

In the small town of Dry Gulch, Texas, a good-hearted busybody just can't keep herself from surreptitiously trying to match up women in dire straits with men of good character she hopes can help them. How is she to know she's also giving each couple a little nudge toward love?
A Cowboy Unmatched
Neill isn't sure who hired him to repair Clara's roof--he only knows Clara desperately needs his help. Can he convince this stubborn widow to let down her guard and take another chance on love?

An Unforeseen Match
Hoping to earn an honest wage on his way to the land rush, Clayton ends up on Grace's doorstep, lured by a classified ad. He may have signed on for more than he expected though--and he may have found the one woman who can keep him from moving on. 

No Match for Love
Andrew can't fathom how refined Lucy ended up as the caretaker to his dotty aunt, and somehow her arrival has prompted even more bizarre occurrences around the ranch. When they join forces to unearth the truth, will the attraction between Andrew and Lucy develop into more?

Meeting Her Match
When the tables are turned and a tenderhearted meddler becomes the beneficiary of a matchmaking scheme, her world is turned upside down. As her entire life changes, will she finally be able to tell the banker's son how much she cares for him?

My Review:

I cannot figure out why I have never read a book like this one before. It was fantastic! I hardly ever read the back of books because I like to be surprised with the story as I'm reading it. Again, I did not read about this book but wanted it because I love Karen Witemeyer's stories. The book as a whole was wonderful! The whole book was filled with a fantastic surprise as your read from one story to the next, and has the best ending following along with the surprise.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

The waiting game

I know plenty of young folks who feel this way. The person they will spend forever with is nowhere to be found, and they'er growing weary in the waiting. I was just asked this question: 

"In your opinion is it foolish to hold out hope that one day he will want to get back together?"

Here was my response:

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Whispers from the Shadows--Book review

Whispers from the Shadows
(Culper Ring Series book 2)
by Roseanna M. White

About the Book:

This exciting and adventurous romantic spy novel is the second book in a new series from Roseanna M. White. Whispers from the Shadows combines fascinating cloak-and-dagger secrets with a tale of love and intrigue during the War of 1812.
Whispers from the Shadows, Culper Ring Series #2   -     
        By: Roseanna M. White
Treachery causes Gwyneth Fairchild's world to crumble. The daughter of a British general, she barely saves her life by fleeing London aboard a ship to America. Her goal is to find refuge with the Lane family in Maryland, having been told by her father she could implicitly trust Winter and Bennet Lane, even though their nations are once again at war. After meeting their son, Thad, she wonders how safe she truly is when she discovers that the Lanes trade in a dangerous commodity--espionage.

Not long after Gwyneth finds refuge in his city, Thad Lane experiences the tug of love, though he fears it may blur lines of loyalty. With family playing the part of enemies and enemies proving themselves friends, a future with Gwyn is uncertain. But at this moment, with the British advancing on Washington and Baltimore, they have only their shared faith in God as a shield about them.

My Review: